the US time..!

So yours truly tagged along Mr G for office today. This was after many years as our timings hardly match these days for morning hours especially. This is best “US” time we can have. 💕

We were busy talking 45 minutes straight without either of us thinking to turn on the music. Such are the times I cherish the most and I can dwell upon them for my entire life as these are times where we are our bare selves. Discussions are as pure and as raw as they can possibly be. They say mornings are magical hours and I could feel every bit of it.

Yours truly didn’t realize how much such a thing counts for her until this mornings. To many marvelous US times 🥂 😉

Until next time,

Its me

Yours truly

the kitchen things…!

How I cherish my good old self who was obsessed with gadgets of almost every type. As bachelor I always thought of having well equipped kitchen whenever I will have my own. I am no pro at cooking nor do I plan to be the one, in short I am not keen in trying and experimenting recipes…! Irrespective of the just mentioned fact, I wanted every available appliance at my disposal.

Not that whatever I dreamt of is reality, but I am in process of reaching where I wanted ;). So far yours truly has got three different types of mixers/grinder (yeah 3 thanks to Mr G for his contribution to bring the numbers up 😉 ) , a griller, microwave oven and a blender to be precise 😉 .

Past two years of lockdown has opened up new feathers of my better half’s personality to me, I find him equally excited while roaming in the utensils shop as me, yeah you are reading it right :D. My affection for him is increased by an inch for this :p . So with this common found interest, we managed to shift from semi to fully automatic washing machine. We planned and have a microwave we are in the process of doing some research for the dishwasher and air fryer.

A few of whatever I have so far are not very regularly used, but let me tell ya, they are my priced possession. The thought of having it all is so damn satisfying, crazy you see 😀 . I haven’t had a recollection of having this draft laying around, now that I noticed it, hitting the button to move it up from drafts…

Disclaimer: please try your best not to find a logical start/middle/end to this post..

dictatorship in disguise…

Support is the sugar coated covering under the wrappers of which lies dictatorship.

It may sound exaggeration, but how is one supposed to take it if dictated for every single so-called decision, even the ones which are just not one’s cup of tea.

How to raise your child, what work location you should choose while you search for new opportunities, how many number of children you should have? When you should have them, what should be the age difference between your two children if you plan for so , when you should visit your parents/sibling , what places you should go both and what not and the list is never ending, argh ….!

I wonder if it’s just me who’s mind replay the entire past years of me getting into a new house and being adjusted, having a baby and then taking care of her ( not sure of the intent of though ) before I give a befitting reply. Do I really need to be obliged so much that I entirely surrender all my life to someone else? Somehow all that I contributed is gone for toss and vanished in the blue sky. The biggest lesson to be learnt here for me is , no matter if it sounds like boasting, one should keep repting the same tape of good things done. That’s the only way forward be it personal or professional life. It is all out of sight/ears out of mind theory.

All this is none less than wake call for me to take good control of everything and do what I feel like doing. I always appreciate and will be grateful for all good that is done to me and try my best to return the favour but certainly not at the cost of my life’s decisions. And that happens to the expectation, I will find a way to move forward without such favors. Wish me strength…!

It’s me,

Yours truly

WordPress wishes anniversary…!

11 years it is…! It is 11th one with WordPress. This place has seen quite of my journey. It feels good to read the older posts and wonder how far I have come. Life has turned and moved in many directions way beyond I had imagined. It is blessing to have a place like this where one can vent out without fear of being judged. One can be absolutely anonymous and let it all flow without giving a second thought, what else once can ask for.

I came across many wonderful fellow bloggers and it is enriching to read experiences. Reading through journeys of others , I am learning to count on my blessings. This place has always made me believe, I am not alone in the boat, there are many people around sailing in the same boat. This has certainly helped me to gather myself together and keep on moving.

I had neither thought that I could write something that can be published for anyone to read nor world has generous people to read and appreciate my scribbling. I am immensely grateful to each and every one of those who spared few minute of their precious time to read through my write ups. This has helped come this far and ring in the 11th one 🙂 .

I promise myself to keep this going as and when possible. Signing of with quote which made my time. 🙂

“It’s the days you have every right to breakdown and fall apart, yet choose to show up anyway that matter most. Don’t diminish the small steps that others can’t see.”
― Brittany Burgunder

get your sanity back

Wise man said , they bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. How long one can refrain from getting down to that level so that person on the other end can have taste of their own behavioral pattern. What is means by which a mirror can be shown to make some one understand act of belittling is heat wrenching. I am on the verge of giving up on the sane behavior just get there and give it right back. At times no other way can bring that realization but being exactly there on receiving end.

This is all at the cost of my own sanity as this is not real me. This leaves me in awe for how insanely difficult it is to be your self and barely live as you are. All the virtues of being empathetic and sensitive to other individuals are something to be kept on shelf and not to be practiced in every day life. All that counts is how impactfully you can bring someone down to prove your self superior. If thigs are down south for some part of your life, someone else is responsible for that and the prosperity is because you being that supreme self…! arrgh…! 😠

This is getting really crazy here for my soul, as I cannot get over for the deeds I did which I wouldn’t have otherwise if I would be ME, and if I opt out of doing that, I would have to let enjoy others of how effortlessly they made full of me. I need to get my sanity back and only way forward to that is to be ME. I must opt out for getting into that sick process for letting someone understand the negative impacts of the actions done knowingly/ unknowingly.

“Don’t tell me there’s no place for innocent hearts in this world. Don’t tell me I need to accept what I don’t believe in. I respect it. Don’t confuse my values for my stubbornness, although I am stubborn. Don’t confuse my positive attitude for being naive. Allow me to wrap my heart around you for a moment. Listen to this. Innocent hearts may not belong anywhere in this world but they are big enough for any heart in this world. Innocent hearts belong in innocent hearts. Innocent hearts belong in the hearts of those who genuinely want happiness.”
― Najwa Zebian, Mind Platter

have a break ? or revamp?

As always title sums it all. Yours truly is longing for a break which again as always don’t foresee happening any soon. On the flip side , a thought is continues to dwell on mind, is break really going to help my current state of mind? or is it revamp of routine that I need to take on.

So here’s the thing, at any minute of day, there are at least 100 things that run on my mind if not more. I am physically where I am needed but my mind tends to be at all other places possible. I just complete what I must without much of life put into it , so I do the things mechanically as they are ought to be done.

No thing can keep my interest longer than few hours. What all I have around is incessant distractions. Now that I have accepted once and for all – work life balance is myth, I need to fit in with all that is around and have “ME” time day in and out rather than craving for break.

I have made list of things I want to do as routine here sometime before as well, but then as reminder to my bogged down self, summing it here again…!

1)Read – in dire need of this, as it will take me away from earthly world around me.

2)Pamper your self , take a moment more to look into mirror and appreciate who you are.

3)Workout often more often, practice meditation.

4)Have a cup of coffee with him, just two of us across the table…! Nothing beats venting out over cup of coffee.

5)Have more quality time with little one.

6)Practice gratitude and mindfulness.

This is it for now. I just so hope to put up a next post describing how starting over the list is helping me feel better..!

Till then singing off on the note of this song which is relatable for this moment.

Its me,

Yours truly.

https://www.rekhta.org/ghazals/siine-men-jalan-aankhon-men-tuufaan-saa-kyuun-hai-shahryar-ghazals?lang=hi

सीने में जलन आँखों में तूफ़ान सा क्यूँ है

इस शहर में हर शख़्स परेशान सा क्यूँ है ||

दिल है तो धड़कने का बहाना कोई ढूँडे

पत्थर की तरह बे-हिस ओ बे-जान सा क्यूँ है ||

तन्हाई की ये कौन सी मंज़िल है रफ़ीक़ो

ता-हद्द-ए-नज़र एक बयाबान सा क्यूँ है ||

हम ने तो कोई बात निकाली नहीं ग़म की

वो ज़ूद-पशेमान पशेमान सा क्यूँ है ||

क्या कोई नई बात नज़र आती है हम में

आईना हमें देख के हैरान सा क्यूँ है ||

Identity and individuality…!

Does it make sense to respond on behalf of a gender group because the group it self is being criticised to a level not acceptable because of some rotten apples?

I felt wave of anguish for all girls/ women addressed with the worst words I could tolerate and aptly gave it back then and there. I have a realisation for the prejudices and biases against the feminine gender and I thought I have moved on from it once and for all. It was utterly down to the level that I couldn’t simply let it pass.

I just wonder what kind of mindset it is to completely overlook that is wrong under our own feets and do a full throttle effort to pin point entire world so badly that our wrong is buried deep down for anyone to see.

Nothing and no one is perfect, why we just cannot live and let live ? Why we have to peep into others lives and have a say or suggestions which are not asked for? What kind of achievement one leads to by proving others wrong and down.

I need a break from every damn thing around. I need a patience and energy to look at good over evil, get past all that is not appropriate. Amen…..!

emotional turbulence…!

Things happen and end up stirring every corner of your the mind leaving you with nothing more than a dismay.

Life brings you up to everything that you didn’t think of in your wildest dream and leaves you wondering does it even really make sense to plan/imagine the things. In reality we as human don’t have even a percent of control over any thing that is happening around.

People turn around, left and right, up and down with blink of eye. The ones you counted on to be your core seem to be part of different world without you realising that move. Each of your move judged and counted as foul no matter how unintentionally it happens.

Nothing is pure. All your actions are labelled and interpreted in possible ways except for your thought process behind it.

Take on what life throws…!

as she turns 5…

Yes my sunshine turned 5 couple of days back. I cannot get over the memory of feelings of anxiety,fear,cheer and every other emotion human mind go through for the D day and viola it is past 5 years already.

I must say she does every single thing on her wish and will and this holds true since the time of her time and day of her birth. She is full term baby literally and not just 9 months , she took complete 9 hours on the day to peep into this world. No remedy, no amount of labour induction could make her come little early and make me free of it all…! I don’t know if it is the case around for every one, but I vividly remember every bit of the DAY.

Fast forward to her turning 5, they say have a daughter and you will have little version of yourself to argue with , and that holds true for us 😀. We kinda debate on anything and everything, be it be dress to wear, way to style hair, pair of shoes to wear to name a few.

Besides all mess that we go through every day, she is one of piller of my support system. She can sense change my mood and already knows how to comfort. She is the one who was by my side while learnt to sit behind driving wheel of a 4 wheeler and I cannot put down how happy she is to tell about that her mumma can drive. She equally appreciate when I bake a cake for her or make an ice-cream for her. I don’t from where she has it, but she likes what is all home made.(it makes me looking into the kitchen often more than I would have ever given a choice 🙄) On this note, I must say for her simplicity is the mantra…! and she is hell bent on this. She is absolutely off the glittery things and that makes me smile ear to ear with sigh of relief.

Well that is what all I can quickly scribble down not to miss on her milestone. Happiest 5th my world l. Fly high and stay blessed. ,❤️💕