Search

dreamtheimmpossible

Its all about thats on my mind…….

Tag

life

action is all it takes..!


They say actions speak more than words and so do I believe firmly. Saying something is really not difficult to do and proving that it is not rocket science – it takes DOING IT right off the bat…! Well these are the words of the wisdom I heard from G and  I am still contemplating on them to comprehend and inculcate once and for all. We have been to this point for numerous times by now in the span of four and half years of being married. I have still not managed to tick somethings off the list that are counted as “you don’t do it as you are not capable of doing it” and move them to “I don’t do it because I don’t like doing it. sigh..!

Sure it is not going to take ages to master any of those things as I already said none of it is rocket science and still I took more than 4 years to reach to this realization and actually pull up the socks and get going. I wonder what would I have done if he wasn’t around. Who else on earth has this patience to deal with a stubborn like me who literally took ages to even pay hid to something that is really basic, well for world it is so, if not for me and you. I am head over hills for you buddy, for yet another time. I was under impression that upbringing is all that makes difference, and you proved me wrong. I understand now that it is individuals efforts to see and be beyond the obvious is what all it takes. Nothing else can make this difference.

I was all busy finding common ground and trying move the rock who is more than happy where it is irrespective of the unnecessary wear and tear it has to face. All the genuine effort to bring ease,comfort and to have a support system for each other have gone in-vein.  I kept on taking and giving chances in the hope of improvisation, loosing pieces of my spark all the way. I was so occupied finding and showing ways to feel worthy for those who live as if they took birth on the earth only to feel content in being worthless on the other side of worthiness. Even more unfortunate fact being you are counted as “good for nothing” for the way you try to hold your head high and feel good.

Do I feel lost ?, well it wont be exaggeration if I end up saying that is the only thing I feel these days. What else one could feel if efforts you are making are overlooked if as if it just didn’t happen and you are held responsible for the change that you didn’t plane for even in wildest of your dream. I am really tired of feeling insignificant most of the times and suddenly solely responsible for things I did not do. The more I try to make a place of my own, more it is getting on my nerves out my reach.

To make that difference and to regain all that is lost on the way is all on my list now..!

Until I see you for the next time.

Its me,

yours truly.

Advertisements

disappointment….!


Not getting your demands fulfilled/answered when asked for is one kind of disappointment and ignoring your little one’s demands to refrain her from getting habitual to fulfillment is way more than disappointment…! sigh

motherhood saga – ode to unsung hero


It was mother’s day couple of days back and so was this post lingering on my mind. Sure it is a blessing and it is much more than that if you have a that one person as your partner of motherhood – of-course in literal sense.

I would not say motherhood is overrated as every moment of it is either a sweet surprise or a new hiccup to get over, but fatherhood is underrated for sure is what I honestly feel. Now that we are at the advent of gender equality, fathers have come far beyond of their role of being mere bread winners and yours truly is fortunate enough to have such a significant other. So for this time, motherhood saga is all about ode to unsung hero of it – a father of 14 months old.

When I reminisce last two years, the time since we knew are going to be parents to the date, every day has been a new adventure and things kept changing to extent of turning my world upside down – only HE being the constant support to rely on. Things have changed for him to in exactly same way and extent if not more and I interrogate – did I bother about it? for the obvious answer. I was/am so occupied handling spilled over things that I tend to look back only when I need a shoulder to lean on – Unfair, I understand and accept that. Motherhood doesn’t turn any one dumb and deaf for the rest of world though it brings you on toes round the clock. Possible reason for this may be that things that appeared on the surface were so calm,subtle and stable that they hardly showed any glimpse of turmoil underneath. I bow down this art of him of keeping the surface calm irrespective of relentless paddling going down there.

As time is progressing, I am realizing that motherhood takes far more than nine moths of carrying and labor. I keep wondering for how and when things changed and started falling in place without me nagging me for any of it. It started right after we were back here – adjusting her here with new predicament, getting up at any odd hour of the night for her formula,bearing with her peeps and poos,sleeping cautiously every minute of night for she may fall off the bed when she started crawling, giving her bath,making her sleep,changing her nappies and clothes, making her hair and now feeding her from your own dish no matter how much mess she creates with both of her hands in the dish.No one is born with capabilities to go swiftly about all this and so it must not have been easy for you either.

This is just to let you know that nothing of it has gone unnoticed though it may not have been reacted to from time to time. You are adored even more than before for this helping hand without being asked for it. I am spell bound to put what it means to have this all. And though you are sharing the responsibilities for motherhood already, it takes a mother to appreciate it 🙂

Wishing all the mothers and helping fathers a very happy Mother’s day..!

To the complete Big 1


Well your mumma almost missed it and is late as always. It was on 29th and that is more than couple of days back. They say better late than never, so here I am.

Wish you a very happy first birthday sweetheart. Love to the moon and back and blessings from all of us. May you be blessed with best of everything you would ever cherish for.

We made sure to keep the celebration as simple as possible as we didn’t wanted to see you cry, feel annoyed and give up on everything. You are too small for all this and we promise the one absolutely the way you want when you yourself can tell us about how you want it to be. We know somewhere that we disappointed many people around doing this, but it was all for you and so we wanted it to be suitable for you and nothing else was even of concern.

Capturing your milestones on the occasion of the D day here :

You can almost walk without any support. I wish I could protect you from the contaminated air and just have a pure thing for you to breath and save you from all those viral things,sigh. It brought you down and made you weak to the core. Hoping for your seepdy recovery.

Oh yes how can we forget about your teething, 1 is clearly out and others have started peeping out. Cannot wait to see you as our cute little bunny with two upper ones out :). I know it is way too painful for you but this is how we all have it, so hang on you are almost there.

You can speak now, yeah the clear words. Most important you gladly call me “Aai” with that cute smile and you know it is a thing to die for. You have no idea how much I have been waiting for this to happen since you started blabbering.

You have started recognising a few animals and fondly try to imitate there voices. I am trying my best to capture and preserve it all.

You are getting addicted to rhymes played on the phone, and I don’t have a clear solution as to how can I make you forget this as I am not around you 24X7. This and such similar things gives me and your papa worries to an extent that we end thinking of quitting the work as solution to put an end to all this mess 😦

Last but not the least you are improving on sleep hours in the night and I can have a sleep for 4 hours straight uninterrupted. This is quite an achievement for both of us , ain’t it 😉

I don’t know for what reason but I am not able to bring this post to an inline end, putting an end with these lines:

My baby

clumsy


So here we are at the end of the first week of the new year…! Time is passing by with blink of eye and here I am by stander witnessing it pass by as if it is someone else’s time and life. 😦 

Get up in the morning, hastly finish and leave for the office. Do mundane things and wait for clock to tick 6PM. Leave for home,do the same stuff without change of a thin line and repeat -call it LIFE, Period…!

No matter how hard i am trying to push myself for the baby steps of starting 15 mins early in the morning, big failure it is…!I wonder when did I get this lazy, wasn’t it the same me for whom getting up at any odd hour of the clock was no deal? With this thing in, exercising is turnig to be a distant dream. I really need to loose couple of pounds atleast if not more.

 I downloaded Kindle so that I can get over the feeling of not finding time to buy/read books, book with not even 200 pages is laying in there for month now and I have no wish to complete it. Wasn’t it the same me for whom a night was enough to finish some 100 pages of the book?Where did I loose this will, for what I mean? What did I find worth loosing this so fondly inculcated hobby?Sigh..!

 Same goes with newly subscribed online tech courses, I purchased them so that I can learn on the move, but no i don’t even remember the last time I opened Udyme.This is yet another thing I am just wondering for.Yeah, you got it right, with no action to bring in the change.

Forget new learning and doing things, I tried cleaning up phones playlist so that I can listen what I like and cheer up for a while atleast, hell no, I am not liking a single track on my own playlist. Help ya people, tell me where should I go?

Bottom line :  nothing is turning up yours truly, yeah nowhere is where I am standing. I don’t even feel urge to do something about this dumb phase. Well,what can be more lame than this. 😐 Wait, if you are suggesting me to take a break, i don’t see it coming any soon.

P.S. : To all my besties who can read between the lines, you people exactly know where I am, in dire need of a meet up…

see you soon…


It is just a few miles that I am away from you, my mind wonders for your where-bouts each passing moment. I know there is nothing to worry about and you are in the safest possible hands when I am not around, perhaps that doesn’t stop me from thinking about you.

Though you cannot speak yet, when I hear about some signs that you show as the evening approaches to show that you are missing me, it runs chill down my spine 😦 . I constantly fear for your reaction when you would be of age to understand that I had to leave home for long 10 hours right from the time when you could hardly recognize any one around but me.I hope you would understand how difficult it was/is/will be for my fickle heart to stay away from you.

Mumma will see you soon my little chiu chiu…!

Daily prompt – Buddy


Buddy – http://wp.me/p23sd-12bP
Yet another favourite prompt to write about.
Buddy – I cannot think of my life without them. I have most of them in buddy + relationships. What I mean by “buddy + relationships” is they are buddy to me along with being brother,sister,husband, husband’s bestest buddies, teammates etc.
I don’t have a so called huge circle of friends per say. Fingers of hands are more if I am to count them literally who fall under the Best category. So they are just a few but mean really a lot to me. I remember the talks say five years back we had about how our lives would be fine years down the lane and we actually are there now having then talked about phases of life. Thing to be glad about is we still manage to keep in touch, we still promise answer to the calls made. Sure that no one can promise presence in the need of hour, what all we can and we do offer is patient heart that listens, words that help heal/encourage if cannot provide solutions to the problem right off the bat.
I can say we all are growing up. We no more have those stupid fights of who gave the call last time and who’s turn it is now. We don’t get upset about the unanswered calls/texts. We don’t feel the distance when we actually are miles apart and take almost months when we find time to catch up with each other. When we get/find time to talk is the time when nothing else matters and we talk just like we did ages back as if nothing has moved/changed, we are still those good old souls craving for time together.
Post won’t be complete without some special mentions, so here are they..
1) V – you are missed truly madly deeply. I don’t see atleast more 5 years to come ahead will allow us the time we need. Keep in touch whatever way that is possible. I still need you no matter I am blessed with best friend as a life partner. I know you see what I mean. Take care and I really Miss you 😦
2) M – we are here in same city but meeting is a distant dream cause of personal lives taking on everything that is even more personal. I need to meet you too till we feel, yes we really had a time. I am sorry that in spite of the fact that I know you need the us time, I am not able to make it 😐 I know you have got really big heart that can pardon me. Oh yes and forgetting your birthday, how even I did that. A big sorry and a compensatory treat on me for this one. No you cannot keep that anguished feeling with me, I already mentioned we are grown up you see 😉 :p I will have to make sure that you read it..!
P – I respect your views all the way. Need time with you as well. Thanks for your efforts to keep in touch all the ways possible. You deserve a separate post, I am lining it up. I see more than 50% a friend in you than a brother.
G – How much a still crave for a friend in you Mr Husband. Let me admit, it makes things easy for me to accept when you turn on this mode while explaining various aspects of problems at hand. I know we have come really far but still this is one of the best times we have spent each other when we knew each other as friends. I would never ever let loose us this relation we share. I still want you to be my bestest friend.
S – well there are many of you who start with S, and you all are special to me. Unfortunately you all are far way from me, I miss you, long for your presence and talk. To all S, please read it as a reminder that you have a friend who still wants you to be there.
Last but not least, to all whom I didn’t mention here, you all are dear to me and you all’s contribution to my life is valued..!
Yaroon dosti badihi haseen hai..
Ye na ho to kya fir bolo ye jindagi hai…

completing two months of madness…!


60 days of being married to you :), nothing less than a roller coaster ride. Exploring you as a life partner is a different experience altogether though you are the same you at core heart.
      Keeping with you in not that easy dude 😉 no I mean seriously :p :p ( I can imagine his face with eyebrows raised whilst reading this line :D). OK the reason I am saying this now is that I have started living with you 24×7( no we still go to office, don’t take it literally). And here goes the list as to why I said it isn’t easy.                             
It is just 15 minutes before you reveal the secret that you want to leave after 15 minutes. Your wify isn’t super women darling, how she is supposed to manage your panic attacks as you get late???

Rimless glasses for week days and full rims for weekends, cannot we have rimless on weekends for a change ? Shouldn’t matter right? 😉

If I miss to answer your call doesn’t necessarily mean I am in trouble. I mean may be I am not near phone, or there are people around and yours truly is stuck with some discussion. Phone may be is placed in bag and I am driving,possible, right? This takes you to the pick of being panic. There cannot be absolutely anything wrong with yours truly as long as you are there, believe me.

Follow ups – I am improving on my food habits as much as I can. Bare with me for that while and slow down follow ups a little, please?

Clothes in your part of wardrobe wander as much as you do, will ya please find a little time help me arrange them? Its 2 months already and I am still clueless of what all you like in it and what you don’t, what is old and what is new. 😦 We really need to find time for this.

And yes last but not the list, try and teas yours truly a little less 😉 🙂

Well I’ll crib about zillion things in years to come as I’ll know you more as a husband, beyond this your love and support are the only eternal things, rest all flies by.
P.S. : It is just the new style of writing that I wanted try, no complaints at all for you honey.
Its me,
Yours truly

life… Is changed for now and for ever…!


Yes it has changed for now and for ever….! For good or bad, better or worse , change is inevitable. I have my share of hiccups for this biggest so far change and the husband is only hope,support, love and every possible thing. He is the only thing that has not changed. It takes me while to recognize that people are talking about “Him”, addressing him as my “Husband” as for me nothing has changed in him. I wonder and even envy him for the ease that he has to accept and live with it all. Or should say things are not changed for him to the extent they are changed, changing and will continue to be so for me? Well I am not sure if it is so. I feel kind of lost these days, cannot find “The Me time or The him time”. Looking forward to settle down quickly…!

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑